Lacking in nothing.

   I must say, I've always yearned for something beyond just the shallow conversation. For depth beyond just what lies on the surface of our lives, and yet, that yearning has always frightened me. Sharing my thoughts on anything has never been something I've been very comfortable with for the fear of sounding immature, naive, and just downright stupid. Instead I've written notes and thoughts down for none other than myself to view when I feel drawn for a review. Instead, God is showing me that is not that way I should be. No, it's not your natural shy nature, but you doubting your knowledge, or even an insecurity in your ability to keep up with the progressed conversation. It all boils down to being looked down upon because of my youth. The sting of not being taken seriously because of the lack of lines in my face, because so often age is a sign of wisdom and intelligence. Surely with all those years in the world much has been learned beyond ones self, including a sense of pride. No, I am not saying that anyone lacking youth is prideful, but rather for one to look down upon someone else requires at least a measure of pride. The definition of pride is 'a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.'

With pride defined and possibly understood as being a rather selfish thing to feel, we are not to go into repentance for feeling pride in ourselves in daily tasks. Apart from God pride is destructive and as said in Psalm 10:4  'In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.' Therefore what I am trying to at least introduce into the thought process is that many are drawn away from God by pride in themselves and their accomplishments, in both youth and further down the road of life. Sounds a bit gloom and doom, doesn't it?

Guess what God has said to us in this though! 'Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.' (1 Timothy 4;12) God is saying that no matter your age, no matter your experience in life, no matter your intelligence, He can use you if you let Him. God does not put desires on your heart to only let you struggle in your turmoil of never reaching such desires. He is calling you with something beyond words and something that seems to come from our very souls.

This desire for so much more beyond the shallow intellect is a reminder from God that not only has He given me intellect, but He will be my words when I have none when I am sharing of His love, mercy and goodness. This is why I no longer fear in sharing the opinions that I now see God has laid on my heart, because it is not me that is being seen, but Him through me. I've always heard about seeing the light of God shining through someone who truly loves Him and yet until  just last week I had never actually witnessed it. To see God shining through a fellow human made my heart sing because He was shining so greatly in a world of such darkness.

All this being said, we are not to feel lowly next to our fellow believers who have had more time with God, because He can use us just as readily as He uses the greatest of minds. Also that even the oldest of believers can learn from the youngest if God wishes it.

Free will VS God's way.

    Sometimes, I really hate free will. I mean wouldn't God's way always be best? It would save us so much agony, if we didn't and even couldn't do the stupid things we want to in our lives. What a perfect life it would be, but God doesn't work like that. He lets us learn from our own mistakes and He lets those mistakes change us into the people we are meant to be. Half of the testimonies wouldn't even be without a rags to riches, mountain peak to valley type of story. We wouldn't get to see just how great and huge God was and is because He has, can and will bring us out of our misery. You know God does not delight in evil or in our pain. He is not like the gods on stories and in mythology. He loves us as He created us even the flaws He put into us and said it is good. So when we are hurting because of our free will He hurts with us. Our wickedness hurts His heart. It's not like a parent who is angry at their child for the bad they have done because it is a reflection of them. He feels agony when we are immersed in our sin because we are far away from Him. He wants nothing more then to have His children come to Him. It's why He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins, otherwise we would be eternally separated from God and His heart would ache for our separation. He yearns to be a part of our lives not because He wants to rule over us and be this deity in the clouds directing our every foot step for his own pleasure and entertainment. He wants to love us and comfort us when we need Him. God is love defined.

Knowing that God loves you that much, why would you allow anyone to touch you who has not vowed before God Himself to have and hold you in sickness and health, richer and poorer.

Knowing that God loves you that much, why would you allow anyone to love you who has not learned love from the one who defines and created love?

Knowing that God loves you that much why would we not trust Him with every aspect of our lives? Our best interests and happiness is what motivates Him. Why not trust in that?

Once again, this is where that pesky free will comes in. When we are not so engulfed and enraptured and in love with God our free will causes us pain. We cannot ask God why, when it is us that have opened our bodies to anyone willing to look. And it is us who have once again suffered a broken heart or broken a heart. It is us who have withheld our trust from God because it is easier to be in control and in the moment it feels good to be touched and held. But nothing can compare to what God has for you when you wait on His timing and follow Him even when it's hard. The reward comes from the creator of the universe, so could you expect anything less then perfection?

Our own pleasure, settling and distrust of God pushes us away from Him because it takes forefront in our lives where God wants to be. His desire is that your relationship with Him be above all else; husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, sisters, brothers, bosses, co-workers or anyone else on this earth. When He is first and foremost in your life you will know what true love is. And not what you think your significant other is giving you, but the purest love that comes straight from the source. It's a love that will never cause harm, or leave you even in the darkest moments of your life. Knowing that love will change your life all for the best.

"I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
                                                   Jeremiah 29:11

Will you follow God's lead in His plans to prosper you in your future? Or will you remain where you are in mediocre happiness and love?

Please view this video after reading.