I must say, I've always yearned for something beyond just the shallow conversation. For depth beyond just what lies on the surface of our lives, and yet, that yearning has always frightened me. Sharing my thoughts on anything has never been something I've been very comfortable with for the fear of sounding immature, naive, and just downright stupid. Instead I've written notes and thoughts down for none other than myself to view when I feel drawn for a review. Instead, God is showing me that is not that way I should be. No, it's not your natural shy nature, but you doubting your knowledge, or even an insecurity in your ability to keep up with the progressed conversation. It all boils down to being looked down upon because of my youth. The sting of not being taken seriously because of the lack of lines in my face, because so often age is a sign of wisdom and intelligence. Surely with all those years in the world much has been learned beyond ones self, including a sense of pride. No, I am not saying that anyone lacking youth is prideful, but rather for one to look down upon someone else requires at least a measure of pride. The definition of pride is 'a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.'
With pride defined and possibly understood as being a rather selfish thing to feel, we are not to go into repentance for feeling pride in ourselves in daily tasks. Apart from God pride is destructive and as said in Psalm 10:4 'In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.' Therefore what I am trying to at least introduce into the thought process is that many are drawn away from God by pride in themselves and their accomplishments, in both youth and further down the road of life. Sounds a bit gloom and doom, doesn't it?
Guess what God has said to us in this though! 'Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.' (1 Timothy 4;12) God is saying that no matter your age, no matter your experience in life, no matter your intelligence, He can use you if you let Him. God does not put desires on your heart to only let you struggle in your turmoil of never reaching such desires. He is calling you with something beyond words and something that seems to come from our very souls.
This desire for so much more beyond the shallow intellect is a reminder from God that not only has He given me intellect, but He will be my words when I have none when I am sharing of His love, mercy and goodness. This is why I no longer fear in sharing the opinions that I now see God has laid on my heart, because it is not me that is being seen, but Him through me. I've always heard about seeing the light of God shining through someone who truly loves Him and yet until just last week I had never actually witnessed it. To see God shining through a fellow human made my heart sing because He was shining so greatly in a world of such darkness.
All this being said, we are not to feel lowly next to our fellow believers who have had more time with God, because He can use us just as readily as He uses the greatest of minds. Also that even the oldest of believers can learn from the youngest if God wishes it.
